10000+ Motivational and Inspiring Quotes About Life, Love & Success

Nobody builds walls better than me.

I love the poorly educated.

Courage is not the absence of fear.

Courage is the ability to act effectively in spite of fear.

I try to learn from the past,

but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present.

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.

Investing is laying out money

now to get more money back in the future.

Derivatives are financial weapons of mass destruction.

We sleep in separate rooms,

we have dinner apart,

we take separate vacations

we're doing everything

we can to keep our marriage together.

My wife is always trying to get rid of me.

The other day she told me to put the garbage out.

I said to her I already did.

She told me to go and keep an eye on it.

My father carries around the picture of the kid

who came with his wallet.

If it wasn't for pick

pockets I'd have no sex life at all.

I looked up my family tree and found

three dogs using it.

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me

with a sling shot.

With me, nothing goes right.

My psychiatrist said my wife and

I should have sex every night.

Now, we'll never see each other!

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life.

In fact,

I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

My wife was afraid of the dark...

then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice

I don't know if I'm coming or going.

I went to a fight the other night,

and a hockey game broke out.

I am persuaded,

you will permit me to observe,

that the path of true piety,

is so plain as to require,

but little political direction.

It may be laid down as a primary position,

and the basis of our system,

that every Citizen who enjoys,

the protection of a Free Government,

owes not only a proportion of his property,

but even of his personal services to the defense of it.