Mark Twain Quotes

Good breeding consists in concealing

how much we think of ourselves and

how little we think of the other person.

If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man,

but deteriorate the cat.

Humor must not professedly teach

and it must not professedly preach,

but it must do both if it would live forever.

My books are like water;

those of the great geniuses are wine.

(Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

Be careless in your dress if you must,

but keep a tidy soul.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities.

Truth isn't.

The most interesting information comes from children,

for they tell all they know and then stop.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?

The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Man was made at the end of the week's work,

when God was tired.

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

George Washington, as a boy,

was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth.

He could not even lie.

We are all alike,

on the inside.

When red haired people are

above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.

Necessity is the mother of taking chances.

It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us

dreamers and indolent...

It is good to begin life poor;

it is good to begin life rich

these are wholesome;

but to begin it prospectively rich!

The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly,

and I did.

I said I didn't know.

The Christian's Bible is a drug store.

Its contents remain the same,

but the medical practice changes.

Let us not be too particular;

it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.

To refuse awards is another way of

accepting them with more noise than is normal.

The more things are forbidden,

the more popular they become.